1. There's no such thing as enough stirring.
2. Over half your job is washing up and disposing of things correctly.
3. You could fill out a COSHH form in your sleep.
4. You've definitely stolen nitrile gloves for cleaning your house at least once.
5. And these exact tissues when you had a cold.
6. When you smell nail varnish your immediate reaction is to wonder why it's not in a fume hood.
7. Seeing people touching door handles while still wearing their gloves makes you despair.
8. You're an expert at filling the exact amount of time until your reaction finishes.
9. And also at eating lunch in two minutes flat when you need to monitor something constantly.
10. You always ace the periodic table rounds in pub quizzes.
11. You can't see a bunch of cardboard or paper towels hanging around without thinking the words "fire hazard".
12. Some stains will never come out of your lab coat.
13. You are seriously good at pouring.
14. You're so used to not being able to wear shorts or open-toe shoes in the summer you don't even have any in your wardrobe any more.
15. And if you're in the cold room, you're going to need to wear two jumpers anyway.
16. You've broken hundreds of pounds worth of glassware.
17. Multichannel pipettes are the literal worst.
18. But if you find a good one you must hide it so only you get to use it.
19. Same goes for any other piece of lab equipment that is vital to your work but always seems to disappear.
20. The lab is never again as spotless as it is the day the health and safety officer is visiting.
21. If you ever accidentally inhale something you shouldn't, you then freak out and wonder if it's going to make you infertile.
22. When you get a student in your lab who actually knows what they're doing, it saves you so much time.
23. Disposing of liquid nitrogen is one of the best parts of your job.
24. Well, that and all the science you get to do.
