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Sarah Huckabee Sanders Refused Service by Restaurant, Then Cries White Tears on Twitter

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I don’t condone refusing service to people unless their names rhyme with “Farah Suckabee Flanders”—then I’m all for a restaurant staff asking the White House press secretary to leave the premises immediately.

According to Suckabee’s tweets, a Virginia restaurant kindly asked the first lady of defending the indefensible to kick rocks. Suckabee claims that she’d just gotten off of her four-toed flying walrus when she saddled into the Red Hen in Lexington.

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The problem with Suckabee’s tweet is that it’s false. Was she kicked out of the restaurant? Absolutely. Is she a respectful person who treats people respectfully? Fuck no. Anyone who has ever watched a Suckabee press briefing can tell you how “respectful” she is. Just ask God’s favorite White House reporter, April Ryan, how warm and respectful Suckabee has been.

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Also, Suckabee is a liar.

The New York Daily News reports that Suckabee wasn’t the only one to post about said events on social media; Jaike Foley-Schultz, who claims to be a waiter at the restaurant, took to his Facebook page to note the momentous occasion.

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“I just served Sarah Huckabee Sanders for a total of two minutes before my owner kicked her out along with seven of her other family members,” he posted.

Suckabee’s brief entrance and exit out of what has now become my favorite restaurant follows the Trump administration’s abhorrently draconian “zero tolerance” border policy, which includes separating migrant children from their loved ones and placing them in internment camps.

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As news spread that Suckabee had been given the big boot, Trump supporters, also called the far Reich, took to the restaurant’s Facebook and Yelp pages to bash the move.

“Don’t eat here if you’re a Republican, wearing a MAGA hat or a patriot. Owner refused service to Sarah Sanders simply because she works for the current administration,” one poster wrote, according to the Daily News. “How disgusting can the owner get?”

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Others applauded the move.

“They don’t serve food to fascists? I will be promoting this restaurant to anyone I know in the area,” a potential diner wrote. “Well done, owners. You are true patriots and I can’t wait to try your food!”

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Sanders’ dumbass father, former Arkansas Gov. Mike Huckabee, even joined the fray to blast the owners for denying his daughter her daily meal of pig guts and bloody dog parts.

“Bigotry,” Huckabee tweeted. “On the menu at Red Hen Restaurant in Lexington VA. Or you can ask for the ‘Hate Plate’. And appetizers are ‘small plates for small minds,’” the Daily News reports.

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The restaurant and its owners did not immediately return the Daily News’ phone calls, but if they’re reading this, we here at The Root love you.