It might seem like a minor memory from high school, but what happened more than 25 years ago sticks with Ramsey County Attorney John Choi: A young female teacher walked across the cafeteria, and all the boys were whistling at her. A male teacher was there and didn’t do anything, Choi says.
“That moment for a freshman in high school is a really defining moment,” he said. “That’s a moment where somebody should have said to all the kids that were involved, ‘Stop it, knock it off,’ but no one ever stopped it. I think that type of silence just perpetuates all of this.”
Choi is describing a culture that he says enables and encourages acts of violence and sexual exploitation of women and children. The county attorney’s office and others are talking about the topic Tuesday, and they’re hosting a public discussion in the evening at Hamline University. Ted Bunch, co-founder and co-director of the New York-based A Call to Men organization, will speak at the “How We Raise Our Boys” event.
“The overwhelming majority of violence against women is men’s violence. The overwhelming majority of men are not violent, but we are silent about the violence that other men perpetrate,” Bunch said last week. “That silence is as much of a problem as the violence is, and that’s what we’re doing is breaking the silence.”
The Ramsey County attorney’s office charged more than 500 adults in serious domestic assaults last year, and 375 adults in sexual violence cases since 2013.
“We deal with all of the tragedies, but one of the things that’s absolutely clear and salient is men are the vast, vast majority of perpetrators,” Choi said. “You think about how that happens, and the reality is that I think a part of it is the socialization that occurs in our society.”
Bunch will speak Tuesday at a workshop for county attorney’s office staff, then to Ramsey County and other local government leaders, and then at the public event. The county attorney’s office is paying Bunch’s $5,000 speaking fee. St. Paul-Ramsey County Public Health is funding the space for the community event, Choi said.
Ramsey County Board Chair Jim McDonough said people often think about sexual and domestic violence as women’s issues and women are usually the advocates in the field, but men need to be part of the solution.
“One of the things that’s come to the forefront for me is that there have been very few males involved, but there needs to be male leadership for males to even acknowledge they have a role in this,” he said.
Choi said he hopes anyone who has influence over young boys will attend the free program at 7 p.m. Tuesday. “We’re calling on parents, teachers, coaches, anybody,” he said.
Mara H. Gottfried can be reached at 651-228-5262. Follow her at twitter.com/MaraGottfried.
IF YOU GO
What: A free community discussion called “How We Raise Our Boys” with Ted Bunch, co-founder and co-director of the New York-based A Call to Men organization (acalltomen.org).
When: 6 p.m. reception today, followed by a program from 7 to 8:30 p.m.
Where: Hamline University — Klas Center, 1537 Taylor Ave., St. Paul
