Perhaps we really have reached peak beard, just as scientists predicted. A new eBay Fashion survey of 1,000 people seems to indicate so. And as the scientists said, it might be because women just don't like your beard as much as you do. If that's the case, what's the point then, fellas? You didn't nurture your luxurious beard so you could stroke it while you sit around in your stinky sweatpants playing StarCraft, did you? No, I thought not. You did it to get chicks, and with only 55% of surveyed women saying they like beards, that prospect is diminishing by the second. But don't worry, dudes like them. A full 75% of men are backing them, which is great news if you want to just hang out with your friends playing hacky sack all day like a dirty high school hippy. Have fun.
And that's not the least of it. Nearly 52% of women wish there were fewer beards out there, which seems to indicate that some of the women who claim to be able to tolerate your glorious man-mane still wish there weren't quite as many of them out there in the world. Yikes.
And the survey says this all might be having an effect on the popularity of beards, at least on the Internet. Google searches for beards increased between 2011 and 2013, but took a nosedive in 2014, indicating that the early adopters are done with whiskers and that even the late comers know enough about them now that they don't have to search any longer. Probably because they're staring down at their very own crumb crusted face-nest as they silently weep after their girlfriend left them for a clean shaven used-car salesman that looks just like the Patrick Bateman of Scranton. Fare thee well beards, you sure were fuzzy.
