Trump Addresses Rally of Ambien Users

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Photograph by Drew Angerer / Getty

NASHVILLE (The Borowitz Report)—Donald J. Trump held a rally in Nashville on Tuesday night and addressed his most ardent supporters, people who take the sleep medication known as Ambien.

Trump served up a hefty helping of fiery rhetoric guaranteed to appeal to Ambien users, whose votes propelled him to the White House, in 2016.

Trump defended his use of the word “animals” to describe some undocumented immigrants, earning a huge ovation from the Ambien-dosed crowd.

He also said that Mexico would pay for a wall on its border with the U.S., a claim that he has repeatedly made while under the influence of Ambien.

Although some have criticized Trump for using code words and dog whistles guaranteed to appeal to the worst instincts of his Ambien-using base, Carol Foyler, who attended the Nashville rally, disagreed.

“Donald Trump says what I think when I’m messed up on Ambien,” she said.