Sophia Loren once said of her figure: “Everything you see I owe to spaghetti.” Unfortunately, this important message has faded for Italians at a time when it is sorely needed. To me it is clear: Italy won the Battle of the Staple Foods. Rice doesn’t touch it (sorry east Asia), French bread puts up a fair-ish fight, and don’t even get me started on ours. What is it? Chips? I really hope it’s not chips.
If pasta is good enough for Ultimate Sexy Lady Loren, it should be good enough for the rest of us. But Italy is falling out of amore with it, so much so that a campaign has been launched to get it back on people’s plates. As a pasta fanatic, I am truly sad to learn of its decline. But sadder still is the reason: the growing popularity of gluten-free and paleo diets. The chef heading the campaign, Massimo Bottura, is advocating quinoa pasta as a viable alternative, which can only confirm that this is the End of Days.
It was at my granny’s house in Sheffield that I first became a pastaphile. My regular after-school meal was Sainsbury’s dried penne, own-brand sauce from a jar and a mountain of grated cheddar. Even at age seven I could eat two mounded platefuls, much to my grandmother’s amusement and slight disgust.
At university, I ate fusilli with tuna and sweetcorn mayonnaise and cheddar cheese – as did almost everyone else. Two things to note if you’re going to make this at home: first, it’s extremely important to have cheddar both stirred into the dish and sprinkled on top; and second, you must stir it all together while the pan is still on the hob, to prevent the temperature dropping. I wouldn’t go on record saying this, but some have suggested a blast in the microwave for eight seconds to melt the cheese is of benefit. (You can thank me later.)
Since then, my pasta horizons have broadened: tagliatelle and tomato sauce with onion and butter (arguably the world’s best sauce), spaghetti puttanesca, salted ricotta ravioli, pasta con aglio e olio. For me, these dishes are best eaten alone with a glass of red wine: it is one of the greatest acts of kindness you can bestow on yourself. I have prepared so much pasta in my 26 years on earth that I can now tell, to the second, when my boiling pasta is ready, even if I’m not in the same room. This has led to friends calling me the Pasta Whisperer.
Pasta’s price range cements its versatility. The dried variety from a supermarket is obviously affordable and easy to prepare. But anyone who has made egg pasta at home will know the luxury of its glossy rolled sheets. If you also manage to acquire an olive oil habit (it’s a slippery slope for us pasta lovers) then the costs can become astronomical.
As for Italy’s new breed of dieters, well, some people have coeliac disease and literally can’t eat pasta (and for them I am truly sorry) but the rest of you please note: gluten is not the devil. In fact, nutritional studies have suggested that for most people a gluten-free diet can be harmful to their health. And if we want to imitate cavemen and women by eating a paleo diet then why not go the whole hog, and return to cleaning our teeth with sticks?
A healthy diet is important, and you would gain a lot of weight if you ate a diet of pure pasta (this is confirmed by research I carried out in Sicily this summer). But, in moderation, pasta isn’t unhealthy and the belief that it is speaks to our obsession with fad diets. It has been eaten in Italy since the 13th century and a Mediterranean diet – revealed this week to be one of the best diets for losing weight – is recommended by doctors for people at risk of heart attacks or strokes. Just remember: pasta is the answer. So, I urge you Italy, don’t turn your back on your old pal. Sophia Loren is watching you.