Photo: Everett Collection
With the ease of a click, you can change your relationship status from "single" to "engaged" on Facebook. Yet, these days, some couples are feeling added pressure, courtesy of social media, to produce the perfect photo (or YouTube upload) of their proposal. So, with popping the question now requiring more than a simple "Will you marry me?" and luxury hotels like The New York Palace supplying that something extra, the price tag of the gesture could actually rival your wedding ceremony.
According to a nation-wide survey—conducted by The Yes Girls, Shane Co., and HowHeAsked.Com—women rated "capturing the proposal moment with photos and videos" higher than "selecting the perfect ring." The data findings (collected from one thousand American females, ages 18-34) mark a millennial shift in the traditional proposal equation (ring + dinner + knee = engaged!) and suggest that the big question now requires a #SheSaidYes-worthy event.
"Women aren't surprised anymore by the question," says Elie Pitts, a marriage proposal and wedding planner for The Yes Girls (who have produced over 700 proposals since 2008). "We have a lot of clients that live together before [they're engaged]. Some have gone ring shopping. Some even have a wedding date on the calendar. So, they know the proposal is coming. [Planning an event around it] is a way for the guy to take ownership of the question and show family and friends what he did in that moment to 'wow' his fiancée-to-be." That quest for the "wow" factor has launched a "wow" proposal industry.
For The Yes Girls, proposal ideas start at $199, a price that does not include concept production. "On average, our clients spend $3,000 to $4,000 for the proposal experience. This includes the venue, flowers, music, videographer, and/or a photographer," Pitts says. However, if you were to purchase The Ultimate Proposal Package recently launched by The New York Palace–the hotel that served as the backdrop to scandal and romance on Gossip Girl—it'll cost you 50,000 big ones.
If you think the price tag seems steep (or something only Blair Waldorf's fiancé could afford), you're right: Most couples, according to Cost of Wedding, spend between $18,900 to $31,500 just to say "I do." If you have your wedding at The Palace, that number skyrockets up to $100,000 on average. These proposals—or mini-pre-weddings—are amounting to one-fifth to one-half of a couple's projected budget.
So what justifies the cost? For The Palace, the package includes a two-night stay in the Jewel Suite (which normally runs 25K per night), a couples massage, a bottle of Dom Pérignon, a seven-course, customized, private dinner prepared by executive chef Jacques Sorci, and expertly designed florals—not to mention late night dips in one of the only rooftop terrace hotel hot tubs in New York and, of course, the unparalleled skyline view that comes with it.
Photo: Courtesy of The New York Palace
While we can picture the hotel's famous fan club—Blake Lively and Ryan Reynolds, Beyoncé and Jay Z—tip-booking the three-story Jewel Suite (above) for their engagements (if the package had been available then), does the jaw-dropping price tag make sense for the non-A-lister community? Yes, if you want leading diamond ring designer Martin Katz—whose celebrity clients include Sandra Bullock, Nicole Kidman, and Brad Pitt (for both Jennifer Aniston and Angelina Jolie)—to design your engagement ring.
Katz currently commands anywhere from $12,000 to over $1 million for his rings, and has an eight to 10 month waiting list for consultations. (Read: Mere mortals need not apply). Yet, as he's partnered with The Palace, couples that book The Ultimate Proposal Package have Katz at their disposal. And, as a bonus, Katz will even waive his setting fee. You lucky, dog, you.
Yet, perhaps the rising proposal costs are less about social media bragging rights and more a sign that the proposal is emerging as an event worthy of its own budget. "The wedding ceremony is the verbal commitment in front of family and friends, so that is undoubtedly a precious moment for the couple," says Heather Vaughn, founder and CEO of The Yes Girls. "But, 'Will you marry me?' changes a relationship and is certainly the starting point of that commitment to one another."
And what says commitment better than a drained bank account? Bankruptcy is so much sweeter with two.
Related: Game, Set, and Cyber-Match
