Things life left us.. Dear Zambian woman.. You have been taught.. You have seen.. You have believed.. Pardon me.. I want to undo the norms.. Show you a side that's let you down.. See that man.. Who you will proudly stick by.. Even when he embarrasses you.. And Eats all your optimism away isn't worth it.. That marriage you soo desperately seek.. Just soo that Mrs respect is earned.. Isn't worth it That man who you keep while he lies oh his behind all day.. Will still expect you to be man n wife and mother.. Those children you say you stay for.. Are resilient.. Yes they will crave more but they'll hate you even more for staying when you can go.. That business you want to start.. Can flourish.. Can be a defining moment for you too.. That man who doesn't cherish or see you as an equal.. Doesn't deserve your lopsided need to shrink just so he can shine.. That man using fists to put across something and hurling insults at you doesn't need you to save him.. Quite frankly you can not mould a man or change a man.. He has to want it and before he does he has to know he has a problem and all that does not begin with you wishfully thinking he will change one day.. The World can handle a successful woman.. It can handle brilliance in a female and it can handle a man n wife shining hand in hand.. It may seem like being the mommy at the moment or just the wife or just the sister/daughter at home is draining but in it's right time..patience Do not let society define you.. If yours is to nurture and not in that board room I'm sure you can still flourish in your own way our mothers and grand mothers did.. Do not hate the woman he uses to destroy your esteem .. Learn that his mistakes do not define you.. Have sympathy for the woman who calls you out your name for a man ..she does not know better.. A man chooses where he lays.. It's your business to choose respect or second best.. Build each other up.. We are all fighting a certain battle.. But if we remember that we are sisters first our kindness might change a soul.. If not it might aswel keep our conscience free.. It's ok to fail.. To be inadequate.. It's not ok to not want to get up again.. It's not ok to race with people you're not in the same playing field with.. Above all show gratitude.. To the man upstairs.. To a good man should you find one.. To a good woman who is with you in your toughest times or who helps you in any way.. Remember there will always be someone or something better don't let that phase you.. Discipline yourself and strive for better.. Reach out when it's too hard to get up on your own.. Lastly remember you're your own individual.. That life is for living.. That submission never meant stupidity.. And that it's ok to be down and have a time out to recuperate. But never ok to stay down..

Candymwambo just now Via Flipboard