I was recently emailing with a dear friend whom I only get to see about once every five years. Our visits are few and far between — not because we live in different cities (she is in New York and I’m in Boston) — but because we work in completely separate industries, and I suspect that we both suffer from the “I wish the week had 40 more hours” mentality. One day soon, I am going to buy a farm and work from home and send emails (or postcards) to friends inviting them to “come see the new lambs that were born last week.” Until then, I do whatever it takes to squeeze in as much time as I can with as many inspiring people as I know. And when I can’t be with them in person, I manage to keep up with their major and minor life events through social media. Last week, I logged onto Facebook and typed in this friend’s name, suddenly wondering if she was around as I began planning for a trip to Manhattan. When I couldn’t find her on my Friends List, my first thought was: Maybe she unfriended me? (My self-esteem is impressive like that.) A quick search of the entire Facebook and all of our mutual friends confirmed that this individual could not be found. She wasn’t there. She left. She got out.
“You’re not on Facebook?” I emailed her, fascinated as if she’d escaped a polygamist cult.
“No. I couldn’t do it anymore. Too emotional,” she responded.
I knew exactly what she meant.
“I want to delete my account, too!” I declared, feeling inspired and conspiratory.
“Yeah, but you probably shouldn’t, because of work,” she said.
She was right; I felt left behind.
There is something about social media as it relates to non-profits and fundraising that is powerful. If the old fundraising saying that "people give to people, not organizations" is true, then social media is a way to cultivate a familiarity with your donors without making them feeling targeted. This can happen through both your personal page and your organization's channels. I’ve seen some very successful non-profit leaders use social media as a way to establish credibility and trust with thousands of supporters. When the Executive Director of an organization posts videos from a recent site visit, donors and supporters get to experience it, too. When she does a Facebook Live from a team meeting, viewers feel like they are part of the action. They are invested, they are "with you" — quite literally. Even seemingly mundane posts from a non-profit leader’s personal life can add to that sense of following along on the social impact journey. More than ever, social media offers fundraisers an opportunity to bring causes into people’s living rooms, their everyday lives and hopefully their hearts.
I often wonder: How did non-profits fundraise before social media? Almost all of the people who sign up for our fundraising adventure trips find out about us via social media and donors always mention how much they enjoy following daily updates from our school and team in Kenya.
But still, there are times when social media feels like a threat to the life we want for ourselves, empty, unquiet, churning.
If you have a love/hate relationship with social media as it relates to both your personal life and professional goals, consider the following three quick and easy ways to make sure that it plays on your terms, and less on your nerves.
Know When What You Need Is A Creative Break, Not A Social Media Distraction
When I was a child trying to do my homework, I would have to dig deep in my imagination to generate distractions: “Mom, I need a drink of water. Mom, but why do you think Fig Newtons are called that?” Now, thanks to social media, one second I’m starting a grant application and the very next second, I am watching Johnny Depp break wine glasses in his kitchen. Elizabeth Gilbert wrote an entire book on how to not let resistance keep you from your life’s work; this has been the story of me. In order to get and stay in a task — any task — I have to get better at resisting resistance and sit with the anxiety or restlessness that the creative process stirs up. And when you are trying to raise money out of thin air, every task is a part of the creative process. Let’s be honest: fundraising is hard. At times, it’s uncomfortable. It can take months and months of work to identify a funding prospect and successfully pitch a project, and much of this work happens online. This type of research is an endeavor riddled with dead ends and social media is resistance in its simple syrup form — a place where beyond rabbit holes are rabbit holes.
Abstinence is the only way forward when it comes to the role of social media and the hard journey of building your dreams, daily.
Once you have shared whatever content you have planned for the day, lock yourself out and make it non-negotiable. It may seem obvious, but it's surprising how many ambitious, smart people I see struggling to finish something that matters to them, as they mindless scroll feeds and wonder why they can’t access their own thoughts. If it’s so much as a tab on your browser, it’s an invitation to people-watch instead of magic-make.
Curate Your Social Media
There was a girl I went to college with — a decade ago — whom I once overheard saying something relatively cruel about me. She apologized a week later and we both moved on (still 10 years ago). Yet, somehow, this unkind woman and I are friends on Facebook. I saw her engagement and her wedding. I even saw nine updated photos of her growing baby bump — every four weeks, a new photo of her standing sideways holding a chalkboard that displayed a countdown to her due date. She looks great. But every time she would show up on my newsfeed, I would think of this mean thing she said about me and I would feel a renewed sense of yuck. And then one day it hit me: I don’t have to be her friend on Facebook. I also don’t have to be follow the guy who always posts angry and volatile monologues. Even if he is a generous donor. I started to get smarter about what I tolerate. I can care about someone and still choose not to subscribe to their daily updates about #thinspiration because I’m trying to unsubscribe to what society tells us about basically everything.
I used to be afraid of sharing opinions or writing anything that could be construed as polarizing. I thought that in order to get the most amount support for my organization, I had to be agreeable. I avoided political discussions or changed the subject if I felt my view differed significantly from the other person’s. I allowed people who had never traveled to the places where I work to lecture me on “corruption and ineffective aid.” I let people say some pretty appalling things in front of me. And then I stopped. Online and offline, I stand up for myself, my work and for bigger issues that are important to me. I am better about protecting my energy — something that has resulted in more energy and better fundraising. People give to others who are passionate and confident in their work. And when you harness those qualities for yourself, you don't stick around in places that feel negative or disappointing.
And online is a "place" that can feed you or deplete you. Curate your social media channels so that they work for you. Pick and choose what and whom you want to see carefully, like a child checking out books at the library, so that when you do log on, it’s to join a community of cool people doing great stuff. I have also started following people whom I don’t know but whose work inspires me - this adds to the online community that I have chosen for myself, one that leaves me uplifted and connected.
Say No To Implementing Every-Single-Best-Practice-Policy
Relax. The secrets to major gifts probably don't lie in your social media strategy or following. Over the years, I’ve noticed that posting regularly and posting at ideal times matters much less than we are led to believe. My experience has been that donor loyalty develops because people are genuinely connecting to your work, and not simply because you promoted a post on a Tuesday at 11 am. While there is something to be said for finding a good balance of sharing stories, impact, needs and a call to action, most of these posts will simply exist within the natural rhythm of your work. There is often so much information coming at us, in terms of strategy, that it feels like you have to get your Ph.D. in social media before you can roll out a campaign for your organization. It can be paralyzing, but chances are, you already have all the information about what matters the most to your community. And staying "relevant" to them doesn't necessarily always have to involve being at the top of their newsfeed. If you are the only one who posts on your organization's behalf, but you are finding the social media space draining, take advantage of a scheduling app like Hootsuite and take a few days off. If you work in the non-profit space, chances are nothing is going to happen if you don't engage in every relevant conversation or cross-promote daily.
In the end, your donors and supporters will be most moved to action by your impact, your results, your work. And all of that good stuff happens offline and in the world.
