Sell Montana to Canada for $1 trillion to pay off US debt? A modest proposal

A new Change.org petition proposes selling Montana to Canada for $1 trillion to pay off the national debt. 

"We have too much debt and Montana is useless," the petition reads. As for getting Canada to go for the deal, "Just tell them it has beavers or something," 

It's garnered 1,000 signers since its launch. Many are from Montana.

We in Montana have questions: 

► No. 1: How dare you?

► Does Montana keep the nuclear missiles or what? 

► Are you trying to hurt our feelings, man?

► What do Americans do about the other $20 trillion in national debt? $1 trillion would only cover a year's federal deficit (projected to be $985 billion in 2019).

► Does Canada have an extra trillion?

► Would Montana still be named Montana or would we be Southern Alberta? Better Saskatchewan? 

► Does the universal health care start right away or is there a waiting period?

► Can we take Yellowstone National Park with us?

► Why not Alaska? It's not even touching the other states!

► Would Montanans have to start saying "sorry" constantly or would there be allowances made for us as former Americans? Sorry, that was probably a rude question. Sorry!

► Canadian football, really? 😒

► July 1 vs. July 4 for a national holiday, sure whatever. But Thanksgiving in October?!

► Can we get a special exemption from the Queen of England, or, to be specific, Elizabeth the Second, by the Grace of God, of the United Kingdom, Canada and Her other Realms and Territories, Queen, Head of the Commonwealth, Defender of the Faith? Or if we lead the provinces in revolt against the British 1776 style, does Ottawa move West? 

► Is $10,626 an acre fair? Like some of those acres have skyscrapers. OK, one of those acres does. And 1 million of those acres are Glacier National Park.

►Do we build a wall against North Dakota? Or pile snow there in a Game of Thrones situation?

►Would we have to drop our speed limits to match the achingly slow pace of Canadian travel? Because that might be a dealbreaker ...

►How do we sign up for our share of the maple syrup supply?

►Bilingual, blah, blah. Do we have to learn French?

►Does the "eh?" thing happen naturally or would we have to practice?

►Who negotiates the trade agreement with Idaho to keep us in potatoes for our poutine?

►What line comes after "O Canada!" in the national anthem? And then all the other lines?

Readers also posed some questions:

►Could Montana be Baja Alberta? Monterio?

►How about Canada becomes North Montana?

►How much to take North Dakota, too?

►Montanans keep their guns, right?

►Just, "woo, legal marijuana!"

►Would this help the Missoula Curling Club get dedicated ice?

►What's the offer for California instead? Would Mexico pay for Texas?

►Are we talking a trillion Canadian or American dollars?

►Do Canadians say "Mountie up" instead of "Cowboy up"? 

Kristen Inbody is a state government columnist at the Great Falls (Montana) Tribune, where this column first appeared. You can follow her on Twitter: @GFTrib_KInbody.