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Spending more than you make, eating too much junk food, and watching too much TV are just a few unhealthy choices most of us make at one time or another. Sometimes, those behaviors become regular habits that are hard to stop. most of us have engaged in at one time or another.
One reason it’s so hard to quit bad habits is that it only takes one moment of weakness to talk ourselves into a bad decision. This mindset (often referred to as the "just one cookie won't kill me" attitude) can be dangerous. It’s all too easy for us to find ourselves falling back into the temptations we were working so hard to avoid.
As a psychotherapist, part of my job often involves helping people rid themselves of bad habits. There are countless psychological tricks that can help people stop texting that ex or quit impulse buying.
Here are three strategies that I’ve found most helpful in my own life when I’m trying to give up an unhealthy habit.
1. Write down a list of reasons why.
Of course, you most likely already know the reasons why you should give up your bad habit. We all know what overeating and drinking does to our health and what excessive shopping does to our bank account.
If we were always basing our decisions on logic, we would never give into cravings. But of course we aren’t. Each time we give in, we are letting our emotions make the decision.
In fact, often the reason we are succumbing to unhealthy habits is for the temporary satisfaction of our uncomfortable emotions, like anxiety, sadness, loneliness, or even boredom.
Balancing your emotions with logic will improve your decision making and help you resist those urges. One great way to do this is to write down a list of all those reasons you know you shouldn’t do something. Be sure to include on the list all of the ways you will feel better if you don’t do it.
Then, when you’re tempted to reach for your unhealthy habit, reach for your list instead. Reading over it will calm your emotions and raise your logic.
I worked with a client who did just this. His bad habit was eating unhealthy snacks at night while watching TV. When he was faced with this temptation, he simply reached for his list and read it.
He was instantly reminded of the reasons he had come up with to stay strong, “You’ll be proud of yourself in the morning if you don’t eat junk food” and “Eating junk food makes your pants tight.” More often than not, this helped him resist his cravings.
One interesting thing about cravings is that they usually go away after a few minutes. The time you spend reading over your list can help you pass the time until your body is no longer tempted.
2. Create obstacles for yourself.
Even with the help of our list, sometimes the bad habits are just too much to bear. Perhaps this is because they are way to convenient for us to indulge in. If we aren’t careful, they will always be right there waiting for us to enjoy.
So the second method for giving them up is to make them harder to get. The difficulty of doing this can vary according to your situation. For instance, if you are giving up drinking and smoking, then don’t keep either thing in the house, and don’t go to bars.
But there are times when it’s not so simple.
For example, I worked with a woman who wanted to cut down on her sugar intake. The problem was her husband didn’t share her aspiration. So they came up with the solution to have a hiding place for the cookies where only he would know.
So figure out how you can put obstacles in place for your own bad habits. Are you an impulse buyer when surfing the internet? Then don’t allow your computer to store your credit card number. And store your credit card in a hard to access place, like the trunk of your car.
Do you think you might be a little bit addicted to social media use on your phone? There are apps that can put time limits on it for you. These techniques can help you by making accessing your bad habits not worth the trouble.
3. Come up with a personal mantra.
Your list and the obstacles you’ve created still won’t be effective, however, if your mind is filled with self-doubt. It’s hard to resist when your own brain is tempting you to cave in. You might be telling yourself “I deserve this guilty pleasure” or "A little taste won’t hurt.”
Develop a mantra that will help you drown out the thoughts that try to talk you into making bad decisions.
A woman I worked with was tempted to text her ex-boyfriend every time she felt lonely or sad. And a quick text message conversation did sometimes relieve those feelings temporarily. But she knew their relationship had been toxic and that continuing to contact him was going to be detrimental for her in the long run.
So every time she felt like sending him a message, she would repeat the words "self-respect" over and over again to herself. It reminded her that contacting him again would be opening up the door for him to mistreat her and she was less tempted to talk to him.
Develop your own mantra that can help you resist your bad habit. Repeating your phrase can give you a big boost in self-discipline when you’re trying to give up a bad habit.
Give Up the Things That Hold You Back
You are only as good as your worst habits. So try your best to give up whatever is holding you back in life and your good habits will become much more effective.
Don’t forget that mistakes are part of the process though. There will be times when you mess up, but don’t give up. Look at any mistake as an opportunity to become better and grow mentally stronger.
