On Thursday evening, President Trump and former vice president Joe Biden tangled in the final presidential debate of the 2020 election. It was a much more civil affair than their prior encounter, offering both sides a reason to believe their candidate bested the other. But in the end, the reason why Biden won the duel, and may ultimately win the presidency, is because of four words he said that demonstrated his greatest leadership skill…
Empathy.
NASHVILLE, TENNESSEE - OCTOBER 22: Democratic presidential nominee Joe Biden participates in the ... [+]
A little over 36 minutes into the debate, after repeated attacks from President Trump on Biden’s family, and particularly his son Hunter Biden, the Democratic candidate finally had enough. But rather than lash out at Trump and match the Republican incumbent’s mudslinging, Biden tried to elevate the conversation – and in turn the nation. Looking directly at the camera, Biden did not flinch: “It’s not about his family or my family,” Biden said.
“It’s about your family.”
With those four words, Biden did something critical. He reminded the nation that he understood what this election is really about – the American people.
“Your family's hurting badly… if you're a middle-class family, you're getting hurt badly right now,” Biden continued. “You're sitting at the kitchen table this morning deciding, well, we can't get new tires, they’re bald, because we have to wait another month. Or, so are we going to be able to pay the mortgage? Who's going to tell her, she can't go back to community college? They're the decisions you're making in the middle-class families like I grew up in Scranton and Claymont. They're in trouble. We should be talking about your families but that's the last thing he wants to talk about.”
In response, President Trump cynically said “That is a typical statement.”
But it’s not. At least not in this election. In this election, much like the 2016 battle between Trump and Hillary Clinton, President Trump is making every effort to avoid addressing the issues by grabbing on to crude nicknames for his opponent and unproven conspiracy theories about his rival and his family. In an increasingly desperate campaign, Trump is making his best effort to get Americans to pay attention to him — to his tweets, to his rallies, and to his nationalist and xenophobic jingoism. It’s the kind of nihilistic egoism that disregards duty in pursuit of distraction.
And it’s not leadership. It’s attention grabbing.
Biden, on the other hand, demonstrated on Thursday evening that he possesses one of the most important qualities any leader can have – empathy. The power to put yourself in other people’s shoes and give voice to their pain – that is a true leadership skill. Repeatedly during the debate, Biden expressed empathy for the struggles of everyday Americans. Biden reminded the nation of the pain of those without affordable healthcare, of those whose immigration status is uncertain, of those who are struggling under the economic hardship of the pandemic, and of those who are afraid for the future of the nation and the planet. And most of all…
The needs of the American family.
In 2020, politics has increasingly become an exercise in algorithms. Finding persuadable voters, targeting messaging, and calculating polling margins. But on Thursday night, Joe Biden reminded American voters that a presidential election is about more than smackdowns and statistics. It’s about leaders connecting with their constituents, and reminding those constituents that as leaders, they really do care. That’s not just a lesson for politicians. That is a lesson for all leaders.
So will Biden’s expressions of empathy further solidify his lead in the election? That remains to be seen. But one thing is certain: Biden’s debate performance was a case study in how leaders can, and should, address the pain of the people they seek to lead – with sincerity and clarity. On Thursday night, in four simple words, Joe Biden showed he understands the real power of leading with empathy.
And there is nothing at all fake about that.
