One day after the 2020 election, Democrats hoping for a Joe Biden landslide can console themselves with the fact that while the votes are still being counted, and things could still go either way, the former vice president has a good chance of winning the Electoral College and dropkicking Donald Trump out of our lives forever. (Yes, yes, like a recurring cancer we’ll never truly be rid of him, just give us this one fantasy.) And in a turn of events no one saw coming, Trump is actually taking the whole thing in dignified stride, telling supporters that he’ll accept whatever the final tally is and that if it turns out Joe Biden is the next president, they should give him the respect he deserves.

No, just fucking with you, of course: Trump is obviously having a full-blown Twitter meltdown and all-caps tweeting about how it’s the crime of the century and a Democratic conspiracy that every state wants to actually count all their ballots before just declaring him emperor for life.

And those are just the tweets that haven’t been flagged for spreading disinformation. The ones President QAnon hasn’t been able to get past moderators include but are not limited to: “We are up BIG, but they are trying to STEAL the Election”; baseless claims of fraud in the Keystone State (“They are working hard to make up 500,000 vote advantage in Pennsylvania disappear—ASAP. Likewise, Michigan and others!”); and this deranged fever dream:

“Last night I was leading, often solidly, in many key States, in almost all instances Democrat run & controlled. Then, one by one, they started to magically disappear as surprise ballot dumps were counted. VERY STRANGE, and the ‘pollsters’ got it completely & historically wrong!”

Meanwhile, as he vowed prior to Election Day, Trump has sent in his legal goons to challenge the count in various states he desperately needs to win, filing a lawsuit in Michigan to stop the counting of ballots and two in Pennsylvania over poll observer access and voter ID requirements. The Trump campaign has also demanded a recount in Wisconsin. As for the president’s early-morning pledge to take his fight to the Supreme Court, legal experts on both sides said…they have no idea what he’s talking about. Per Politico:

Asked to parse Trump’s comment, longtime GOP election lawyer Jan Baran said: “I have no idea—and I don’t think he does either.”

Trump campaign officials had little to say Wednesday about the Supreme Court, although they did announce plans to seek a recount in Wisconsin, where Trump was running about 20,000 votes behind Biden. Baran suggested that was a longshot, judging by history. He said he was unaware of any statewide race where a recount moved close to that many votes.

“There are legal mechanisms, but you need some evidence and some facts, as well as legal arguments,” Baran said. “Twenty thousand votes? Who knows what you may find under the rug or behind the couch that does pop up. It’s possible.”

You remember evidence and facts, right? Quaint little notions Trump smothered with a pillow on January 20, 2017? Anyway:

The only case about vote-counting deadlines that could be teed up at the high court right now is from Pennsylvania, where Democrats and Republicans have fought over an extension to accept mail-in ballots postmarked on or before Election Day for three days past the election. Yet even if Trump somehow were able to succeed in stopping the state from finishing its vote count, the state’s 20 electoral votes would not enough to put him over the top in the Electoral College.

Another, perhaps insurmountable, legal challenge for Trump is that even if the Supreme Court ultimately rules that a change like Pennsylvania’s three-day was unconstitutional, there are signs a majority of the court could order those ballots to be counted anyway. “I wouldn’t want to speculate on how the Court would rule, but the argument that voters relied on the rules in place on and before Election Day—and should therefore have their votes counted—is very strong,” said Dan Tokaji, dean of the University of Wisconsin Law School.

In the meantime, as Trump’s path to reelection continues to narrow, his followers are taking their cues from their leader, spreading absurd conspiracy theories:

Trump allies on Wednesday fanned false claims that GOP votes in Arizona are being rejected over the use of Sharpies, as the president continues to question the integrity of the election. Arizona Secretary of State Katie Hobbs said it was “absolutely not the case” that voting with a Sharpie somehow nullified a vote. “Poll workers are not going to give voters pens that are going to invalidate their ballot,” Hobbs, a Democrat, told KTAR News Wednesday. “And people who are voting from home use Sharpies all the time.”

Ballots in Maricopa County were arranged so that if a Sharpie did bleed through the page, it wouldn’t cause an unreadable mark on the other side, Hobbs said. She also emphasized that the state had a clear-cut adjudication process for counting ballots that could not be read by tabulators…. But conservatives sowed new confusion over their use Wednesday on Twitter as ballot counting continued in the state. “Apparently the use of Sharpie pens in GOP precincts is causing ballots to be invalidated,” tweeted Matt Schlapp, who heads the American Conservative Union. “Could be huge numbers of mostly Trump supporters.”

…intimidating poll counters:

...and just thoroughly embarrassing themselves in every way possible:

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That feeling when people are embarrassed to say they voted for you

Fear not, the most brilliant legal mind of a generation is on the case!

If he’s not there in two hours don’t worry, he stopped off for an interview in a hotel room and just needs to “tuck” his shirt in:

Area man doesn’t have any idea how any of this works

Elsewhere!

Protesters converge on Detroit voting center as election officials count ballots (Washington Post)

Trump campaign was livid when Fox News called Arizona for Biden—and tensions boiled over on-air (Washington Post)

Senate Control Hinges on Five Uncalled Election Results With Republicans Holding Edge (Wall Street Journal)

Susan Collins Wins, Consequences Lose (Jezebel)

In Puerto Rico, a slim majority voted for statehood (New York Times)

United States tops 100,000 new coronavirus cases in a day for first time (Washington Post)

The FDA’s cutoff for COVID-19 vaccine effectiveness is 50 percent. What does that mean? (NBC News)

Hero pet parrot squawks owner’s name, saves him from house fire (NYP)

French bulldog elected mayor of Kentucky town (UPI)

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— From the Archive: Inside Trump’s Twisted, Epic Battle for Mar-a-Lago
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