People Show us The Worst Break-Up Messages They’ve Been Sent

It can only be said so many times that written communication – whether that’s phone, computer or a sad handwritten note – is a poor substitute for an irl kōrero.

Although it can be a good way to give you time to form clear thoughts, and you can explain your feelings without the pressure of being on the spot in person, a message is an easy cop-out if you want it to be. Because if you don’t have to deal with the consequences, you don’t have to do a good job! (Please don’t take that seriously). 

And it’s for this reason that millions of terribly written and shiver-inducing break-up texts have been sent. 

VICE asked people to show us the worst break-up texts they’ve received (we’ve kept them all verbatim), and we got everything from a 15-year-old using a Peewee Herman quote (“I'm a loner Dottie, a rebel, there's things you shouldn't couldn't understand”) to a message from a flatmate exposing their partner’s cheating on their birthday.  

But I’d argue the most uncomfortable of the break-up texts aren’t the extreme examples – it’s the mildly earnest but much too blunt endings, in which your ex, or ex-thing, is just trying to close the book and get away quickly. Or the patronising implication that you’re desperate to stay friends. Or the admittance that you weren't that important. 

1.

 “I think I've been just going with the flow and telling people I'II be available and it's becoming clear to me that I'm not gonna be able to see 90% of the people I want to see. I'm happy to stay in touch of course”

2.

“Yeah I mean I'm straight up just not gonna get the time”

3.

“Hey! Sorry for the delayed response. have too much going on to put anything into this so I will leave this here, was nice chatting with you. X”

4.

“I'm really sorry if that was your perception but I havnt manipulated you at all, I'm sorry that you feel like it went that way, but it didn't”

5.

“Hello, I don't know how to say this but I don't think I'm ready to be in a relationship. I think your beautiful and someone I could see myself being with in the future, but I moved on to soon. I really like you but I can feel myself being distant and not the boyfriend I want to be. I need some space and I'm sorry if this is super unexpected. X

I'm sorry I can't talk on the phone:(“

6.

"Sorry I wasn't home when you came over to see me, I was out for lunch with Ellen* and told her I loved her” *ex girlfriend. 

7.

“Do you not like yoghurt?”

“Not really”

“I can't believe it. I suppose you probably like things that I don't.”

“Yeah”

“Look I think we need to talk”

“What is it?”

“It's just don't feel like our relationship is going anywhere”

8.

“Look not sure if this will work. Im not keen on going for a drink. It's been very nice talking to you. But I'd like to not take things any further. I don't want to have to reaffirm I'm keen to meet up with people. Just feels like there a disconnect. Do take care, and enjoy your week :)”

9.

"we aren't together but we can still be friends!! i don't wanna lose you as a person"

10.

"let's pretend this never happened",

So, take note from these tragic examples. There may not be a good way to end things via text, but you can definitely do better than that –  and if you’re really in need of help you can look to VICE’s least-shitty message suggestions here. 

Own the Feels is brought to you by #LoveBetter, a campaign funded by the Ministry for Social Development.

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Rachel Barker is a writer / producer at VICE NZ in Aotearoa.