Reacquaint yourself with commuting, co-workers and ‘hard pants’
July 22, 2021
It goes by many names, both dreary and upbeat: the office, the workspace, the firm, the grind. The campus, headquarters, downtown. Mostly we just call it work. Now, a moment of pandemic-era reckoning is nigh: Bit by bit, we are returning to the office. Some of us volunteered to go first, because it felt right; others had no choice — the boss said come back and they did, or soon will.
Our feelings about this are literally all over the map: Some corporations saw the light and let their employees fling themselves hither and yon, working remotely, a temporary solution that became a permanent win-win. Other, more traditional CEOs feel something’s been lost in the untethering from the mother ship, and that mutual, intellectual sparking happens best at the office.
Hollywood has been onto office ennui for decades now, producing sharp satire about the cramped closeness, horrible bosses and unwanted collegiality that so often veered toward microaggressions and worse. It looks different now; feels different, too. But will it be all that different, once your badge beeps you back in? Is revolution coming? Or just banal familiarity?
First, all the little things: Handshakes? Hugs? Wardrobe? Lunch? Will you fall into your old habits? What have we learned? Who are we now at the office?
Consider this section, featuring the work of Washington Post writers who cover culture, business, food and wellness, as a reorientation to the place we love to loathe and are loath to love.
Productivity gurus think our ability to focus may be limited to four or five hours a day. Make the most of them by doing your work in chunks, scheduling breaks in between, determine your most creative times of day and reduce distractions. Story
Beat the traffic
The pandemic and working from home made many commutes seem unnecessary. But a return to offices means it’s time to hit the roads and rails again — and not everyone is excited. Tips
Defining burnout
The best way to prevent burnout is to change the workplace. As new routines are being established, it’s an ideal time for bosses to check in on company culture. Plus, advice for employees on establishing boundaries and getting support. Advice
‘A little to the left’
Massaging away your own knots and stress, or those of a partner. Press on or roll your trigger points with your fingers, knuckles or a tennis or massage ball. Guide
Water cooler talk
As our social lives restart, many of us are rusty, tongue-tied, rambling or insecure — and we don’t know what to do with our hands. Story
Takeaways
Whether workers wind up at home, in offices or in hybrid work systems, mental health experts hope bosses’ decisions will prioritize individual well-being as much as possible. Story
Out of office
Americans are booking working “vacci-cations” before office life resumes. White-collar employees are taking working vacations while they can and hoping the trend sticks post-pandemic. Story
From the artist: “I wanted to show a sort of balance between the two experiences of working from home versus the office. On paper, staying at home may still look like the most charming option (meaning: snooze fest) even if we all learned there are many sneaky downsides of smart working. I have a whole second season planned, where the in-laws come to visit. The working title is ‘Looking for a co-working space in the area.’ ” — Giacomo Gambineri
Style
Office culture
We hate the office. We love the office. Do we want to go back? After the pandemic, our culture of “Dilbert” and “Mad Men” and kvetching about bosses is coming to a head. Story
Personal space
Hugs are coming back. Not everyone is thrilled.Non-huggers enjoyed the year-long break, but now it’s open season on affectionate squeezes. Tips
Business casual
We don’t know how to get dressed anymore. And our pants don’t fit. Story Plus, now is the perfect time to rethink your wardrobe, with an eye toward sustainability. Advice
Circling back
Who were we and what were we thinking? A return to offices frozen in time.For workers who haven’t been back in many months, a cubicle is a tiny museum to pre-pandemic life. Story
Brow raisers
Our pandemic eyebrows are driving us crazy. Can we learn to love them? Our brow appointments became dangerous, sparking a year of obsessive plucking and chronic self-consciousness. Story
There are many moods to soundtrack a commute. Whether you’re filled with nervous energy to be on time for that first meeting. You want traffic — and your music — to take its sweet time. You want to get amped to grab hold of the day. Or need these precious moments of serene, deep listening before the day swallows you whole. Here’s some listening for those feelings from over the past year.
Who needs that first cup of coffee? One of the most fun groups of punks having the time of their lives. Watch the short film accompaniment on YouTube at your desk lunch later.
“Afrique Victime”
Mdou Moctar
Inspiring and soaring. A new texture or sound wave to unpack every listen. All hail the guitar god.
“Axacan”
Daniel Bachman
For morning meditation. One of our most curious and finest listeners delivers a defining statement on the natural world.
“I Became Birds”
Home is Where
Florida band creates something weird, profound and a total blast. Call it emo, screamo, whatever. If you dig it, you won’t forget about it for a very long time.
“Promises”
Floating Points & Pharaoh Sanders feat. London Symphony Orchestra
When you need to transcend. A masterful concoction conjured up by a jazz maestro, electronic wizard and chamber ensemble.
5 podcasts to listen to on your commute
In the Before Times, the best part of my commute was listening to a podcast — living inside a whole different world in my head for 35 minutes before and after work. For me, having more built-in time for podcast listening in my day is one perk of returning to the office. Here are five podcasts particularly well-suited for commuting.
It’s a show about crimes — but it’s not morbid, or lurid. It’s more about choices, and the surprising places where those choices can take you.
“Thirst Aid Kit”
A podcast about the female gaze. This is what I listen to when I want to stifle giggles on the bus.
“Heavyweight”
A podcast about resolving lingering questions. This is what I listen to when I want to cry silently on the train.
“Moonface”
A fiction podcast that is sound-rich and intimate. (Emphasis on “intimate”; I’d give it a PG-13 rating.) An audio reimmersion into the world of crowded clubs, loud bars and whispering to a stranger late at night.
“Twenty Thousand Hertz”
A podcast about sounds and where they come from. The perfect antidote to spending the last 18 months in the domestic equivalent of a sensory deprivation chamber.
End of carousel
Business
Budget cuts
Just because the world is opening back up doesn’t mean your wallet should. You’re eating out more. You want to hop on a flight to a hot vacation spot. But here are five reasons to avoid post-pandemic spending sprees. Story
Let’s revisit
Yes, the office is back. It just might never be the same. Workers are suddenly feeling happiness and angst; frustration and relief. Sometimes all at once. Story
All hands on deck
Workers in California, Illinois, Kentucky, New York and Washington, D.C., describe their first day back at work after 15 months at home. Story For some people, working at home throughout the pandemic made life significantly less stressful. Story
Face it — the office is going to be weird for a while. Many companies will provide guidance about things like masking and distancing, but they can’t game out every scenario. So here’s what two business etiquette experts recommend in some dicey situations where social norms are suddenly very abnormal.
You spy your co-workers for the first time in a year and a half. How do you greet them?
A. Yell “I’m vaxxed, baby!” and bear-hug them all.
B. Ask each person if a hug is okay.
C. Embrace the awkward — but no people.
D. Spritz them all with disinfectant.
Answer: C
Some people will burst into the office like the Kool-Aid Man ready to hug it out, but others will tiptoe in, still reeling from the trauma of the past year-plus. They may be grieving, vulnerable to infection, protecting a loved one or cautious about the many unknowns.
“We’re going to have to be lighthearted with it and just not take it personally if someone’s not wanting to shake hands or give a hug,” said Pamela Eyring, president of the Protocol School of Washington.
Hugging is particularly fraught because of power dynamics that lurk in nearly any business relationship, says Stayce Wagner, author of “Modern Business Etiquette for Young & Fabulous Professionals.” Asking beforehand doesn’t work, she said, because “the reality is it’s really hard for someone to tell, you ‘no, don’t hug me.’”
So better to lean into the shared awkwardness and wave, nod, do cartwheels, spell out “I MISSED YOU GOOFBALLS!” in semaphore, but save the bear hugs for outside the office.
You summon the elevator, and someone is already in it. What do you do?
A. Get in. Duh.
B. Ask if they mind if you ride with them.
C. Sprint for the stairwell.
D. Stand frozen until the doors close.
Answer: B (with a nod to C)
For a while, our standard “personal space” will be bigger than it used to be, Wagner said, so it’s considerate to ask if the person minds if you join them.
“It’s just these little things we can do to make sure the people around us know that they matter and that they're important to us,” she said. “I don't think we'll ever pack that elevator again.”
Taking the stairs is a great option for many people. And because health officials are discouraging chitchat in elevators, it’s less likely you’ll miss overhearing something juicy. Just decide before you push the button, because pandemic or not, no one wants to stop at an empty floor.
A colleague extends his hand for a handshake, but you’re not comfortable touching. You should:
A. Evade it, Matrix-style.
B. Give in, then pull out the hand sanitizer.
C. Preempt it with a friendly gesture.
D. Tell them to back off with an unfriendly gesture.
Answer: C
Both experts recommended heading off handshakes with friendly alternatives, but also lamented the (ideally temporary) demise of the bedrock social staple.
“The purpose of offering your hand to shake is to put others at ease, and the pandemic has turned that upside down,” Wagner said. “A traditional gesture of goodwill is now a potentially unsafe encounter.”
She uses a “power nod”: eye contact, a friendly smile, and a quick nod, perhaps with hands clasped in front of her chest.
Eyring suggested a similar gesture, with a hand over your heart, and said the ideal scenario is getting it out there before the other person sticks out their hand.
“You've got to do it as soon as you're coming up to a person,” she said. “That way they go, ‘oh,’ and they'll react by doing the same.”
Eyring said it’s fine to shake if both people are comfortable with it, but she recommends washing or sanitizing your hands afterward — out of view of the other person.
A new client is visiting your office for the first time this week. You should:
A. Discuss the greeting ahead of time.
B. Wait and see what they do.
C. Elbow-bump or foot-tap them to break the ice.
D. Wear a hazmat suit. Can’t be too careful!
Answer: A
Let guests know what to expect before they arrive at your workplace. Wagner suggests emailing them about any office masking or distancing policies, mentioning your personal preferences, and asking theirs. She suggests something like, “I'm vaccinated, but at this time I mask and avoid handshakes when meeting with people outside of my home bubble. What can I do to help you feel comfortable when we meet?”
“That way, you're not telling them what you need them to do,” she said.
And any bumps, taps or other gyrations are too informal for a business setting. The foot-tap could be downright dangerous, especially in heels. (“It would be a disaster for me,” Eyring said.)
Someone volunteers to drive the team to an out-of-town meeting. Do you:
A. Ask to see everyone’s vaccine card.
B. Wear a mask if the driver is wearing one.
C. Ask the driver if they want you to mask up.
D. This must be where I show up in the hazmat suit!
Answer: B or C
If the driver is masked, you should put one on as well, Eyring said. If the driver is not masked, it would be courteous to ask if they would like you to wear one. And of course, if you want to wear one regardless, just do it.
But if you’re not comfortable riding with others, politely decline rather than going full Naomi Campbell, or at least warn others ahead of time.
Both experts said you shouldn’t ask whether a colleague has been vaccinated, period. But Eyring said declaring your own status might prompt the other person to reveal theirs.
The common thread through all of these answers is that we are going to need a little patience and grace while we relearn how to act in the office.
“My hope, as a person in my profession and just as a human being, is that we bring a bring a healthy extra dose of empathy with us back to the workplace,” Wagner said. “A bit more civility, a little bit more kindness. That would be wonderful.”
End of carousel
Food
Game changers
Five simple recipes when prep, cooking and cleanup seem too much.Don’t really feel like cooking? Keep it simple with these lazy recipes. Recipes
Brown bag
How to send your child to school with a tasty lunch without turning your routine upside down. Yes, you can keep them fed and happy without a lot of fuss. Tips
Lunch, anyone?
Returning to the office? Lunch at work need not be an afterthought. Here are super-doable and delicious upgrades. Story
Outside the box
How to choose the right container for storing your leftovers. When it comes to glass or plastic, there is no one size fits all. Story
Move the needle
How to upgrade your favorite sandwich. From PB&J to egg salad, these fresh takes will make your brown-bag lunch exciting again. Recipes
Best practices
Go ahead and microwave fish, and other office lunch etiquette you should ignore. Instead of living in fear of office puritans, aim to delight them with your lunch — and make them jealous. Advice
Burnt popcorn? Birthday cake? What else do you miss about the office?
What we dread about going back ...
“I love that no one is burning popcorn in my microwave or heating up yesterday’s fish sandwich.”
— Laura Lawrence, San Antonio
“I dread the constant interruptions from co-workers. Working remotely greatly reduces those distractions. I just have my beagle and partner at home to distract me.”
— Tom Wright, Howell, Mich.
“I loved being able to sit down at my dining room table and have a fresh lunch every day. At work, unless I go out to eat, I have no option but to eat a cold depressing lunch at my desk.”
— Catie Duggan, Maplewood, N.J.
“I don’t have to wear a bra at home. I can’t do that in the office.”
— Jennifer Lopez, Denver
“I do not miss the phony baloney cards that people who don’t know me sign and the grocery store cake that gets picked over all day in the breakroom.”
— Kelly Fox, Rancho Cucamonga, Calif.
I don’t miss “being asked the question a million times every Monday ‘how was your weekend?’”
— Kenny Madrid, Los Angeles
“Working remotely allows me to wake up at six, be on a call from bed, and go back to sleep afterwards.”
— Margot Ayer, Kent, Wash.
“I dread the commute. I have wasted so much time getting to and from the office that I now realize is better spent making a healthy meal or exercising or spending time with my family.”
— Paula Taylor, Alexandria, Va.
“Office politics and gossip, commute in traffic and having to get up two hours earlier to do my hair and makeup are not missed.”
— Melissa Morales, Vancouver, Wash.
“I dread returning to a freezing cold office. I once read that office building temperatures were based on indoor climate standards of the average office worker in the 1960s — a 40-year-old White man.”
— Alta Ray, Washington, D.C.
... and what we like about the office
“I miss the ad hoc communications. The ability to swing by someone’s desk. Today all communications are scheduled. Schedules are back-to-back.”
— Tammy Ramsey, Olympia, Wash.
“I’ve grown so weary of video calls! I love seeing people.”
— Laura Beebe, Chicago
End of carousel
About this story
Patches by Pablo Declan and Dominique Marchini. Wellness, Style and Business illustrations by Cecile Gariepy. Quiz illustrations by Jordan Awan. Typography by Nina Chakrabarti. Comic by Giacomo Gambineri. Lunch photo by Laura Chase de Formigny with food styling by Marie Ostrosky. Design and development by Lizzie Hart, Suzette Moyer and Yutao Chen. Editing by Hank Stuever and Ed Thiede.