Your home life might seem a bit bleak right now — your hair may be getting shaggy, your eyebrows may be a bit unkempt, but you're not alone in letting some of your routine slide in the current situation.

Dr. Lynn Bufka, Ph.D., is the Associate Executive Director for Practice Research and Policy at the American Psychological Association and a psychologist who specializes in anxiety, stress, and cultural issues. She says that it’s perfectly normal to see your routine fall apart in the current environment.

“When we are at home for an extended period, it might be easy to stay in pajamas all day, or super comfortable clothes all day, and it feels like we aren't really making a decision," Bufka says. "We aren't operating the way we usually do, so we have some different cognitive challenges that happen when our routine is disrupted. ”

Those disruptions can mean that we let some of our self-care, fitness, and beauty routines slide, and while there's absolutely nothing wrong with taking a break from those things, Bufka says that the routine of self-care can offer real comfort in these tough times.

"Routine doesn't require as much mental energy. We don't have to make a decision. It makes it easier for us to stay centered and focused," she says.

Cropped image of woman painting fingernails against colored background
Malte Mueller//Getty Images
Sticking to your self-care regime can be comforting during uncertain times.

Why maintaining a routine makes biological sense

When our routine is suddenly disrupted by a worldwide pandemic, it’s natural that our stress levels rise, Bufka says.

"We operate on a 24-hour cycle, and we have cyclical hormones that physiologically regulate the routines that our bodies go through. When those physiological routines get disrupted, it takes a toll physically and mentally," she says.

Stress symptoms can include everything from trouble sleeping and irritability to difficulty focusing and emotional eating. When you have a routine or a self-care habit that you take comfort in, it can help reduce stress and anxiety.

"If you have the regular routine," Bufka says, "you know what to expect, it's easier to anticipate how to operate in the world, and we adapt to that. When you think about routine, you think about being consistent."

Both adults and children can benefit from having a regular routine, too, because it helps reduce decision paralysis when it comes to daily life.

"Adults struggle when we have to make too many decisions in a day and having those routines can be more familiar and comforting. Kids can thrive when they have routines, too," Bufka says. "We're all trying to figure out how to work and how to be at home right now. So keeping to a routine dressing for work in a certain way, and using certain hours for work, helps us retain the difference between work and home as we go between different aspects of our lives. It gives the idea that we have control over our world in a time when many of us feel like we have no control."

Why self-care can make you feel better during times of stress

While you don’t necessarily need to put on office attire and do your hair and makeup each day, getting ready for your day in a way that feels supportive to you, can help you feel more grounded and positive.

“Routine is familiar. The situation we are in is not familiar, and having things that feel familiar is important. If it feels familiar to regularly have your nails done, or wear a dress shirt than a T-shirt to work, even from home, then you need to do that,” Bufka suggests.

Getting ready for your day in a way that feels supportive to you, can help you feel more grounded.

All of this is really about seeking comfort. If you find comfort in doing your nails or putting on makeup while you work from home and stay safe in your abode, then Bufka suggests you should do just that.

“Making decisions about what to wear, doing your hair, actually putting on jewelry or makeup — those things can help us feel like we have control over choices we make. It's overwhelming to have lots of choices, and it takes mental energy to sit with uncertainty. Having a routine can feel comfortable and comforting to us. When external things feel uncomfortable, we want to feel comfortable elsewhere. We seek comfort in these rituals," she says.

Essentially, we are continually trying to build on the foundation of basic health that we've established in our daily lives, Bufka says. These include sleep, nutrition, activity, and social contact and support. Even if we aren't making the best choices right now, we need to cut ourselves some slack and find what feels supportive, comforting, and nourishing.

"There's no roadmap for what we are experiencing right now," she says. "We aren't going to make great choices all the time right now. The work we have to do is to try and make a majority of our choices that support our physical and mental well-being. Trying asking yourself, on balance, am I making choices that make me feel good in the moment and over time?"

Bufka also says that as we settle into the new routine and the new world order, and as we continue to stay safe at home and practice social distancing, the discomfort we might feel with our current situation will dissipate.

"This will get easier as time progresses. We will have the routines down, which will allow us to think about what is important in our lives now," Bufka says. "Once you get your feet under you, you can think about what you are learning from this. If you realize that what is important is that you can organize your life to center around things matter, like family or friends, then you can make those changes going forward. If we think of this as a challenge to be met with some potential for opportunity, rather than thinking of it as a threat, that is going to help us in the long term."


Abigail Bassett is an Emmy-winning journalist, writer and producer who covers wellness, tech, business, cars, travel, art and food. Abigail spent more than 10 years as a senior producer at CNN. She’s currently a freelance writer and yoga teacher in Los Angeles. You can find her on Twitter at @abigailbassett.

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